


Gloomy Sunday

by dresoria



Category: Daft Punk
Genre: Electroma AU, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Robot!Thomas, gloomy sunday, robot!Guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 07:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1735715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dresoria/pseuds/dresoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This takes place a year after the movie Electroma, but Guy-Manuel refused to help him self-destruct. What if life had better plans for them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gloomy Sunday

**Author's Note:**

> As time went by, we forgot we were never alive;   
> Maybe I’m not just hopelessly in love.  
> -GM-0342

2166\. 06. 12. **Thu**

                „Only if we could stop lying to ourselves. Electroma is not the same anymore, Thomas and I; neither are we the same anymore.  As far as my integrated memory knows, there are no signs of me intending to write another entry after this one, probably it is the last. Thomas doesn’t know.”

The golden robot placed the pen aside, looking into the mirror right in front of him. Hell knows why he kept it even after not wanting to see his robotic ’face’ ever again, never wanted to see it, though didn’t bother to look away either. He gazed right at his reflection, eyes piercing through pure shining black and gold. He almost lost it. Exactly one year ago, he almost lost his will to fight for the inevitable immortality of robots, when they thought they turned a little bit more human, yet on that very same day, they lost it all, everything. All sense of being organic melting off of them and disappearing into nothing, false efforts. He still remembers the whirring of his internal fans as they walked in a fast pace one behind another through the hot Electromian desert, searching for an answer and themselves. An escape. Something died inside of Thomas on that very day; he refused to mention it at any time Guy asked what his status was, why he was not feeling right, refused to make music, refused to be Thomas. The name was him, the outside was him, but he completely lost what he used to be inside. Why? All because of a stupid attempt to make a difference. He wanted to leave, to ’die’, not like humans do with their ’heaven’ and beliefs, but like completely deleting himself from existence in hope that everyone forgets he was ’alive’. He refused.

„Thomas.” Guy-Man  said with a deep robotic voice, hoarse from disuse, visor cold and black, without any expression or words  to show, displaying the complicated emptiness in his mind ever since that very day, but continued nevertheless- „What would you think if I was gone?”

Thomas speechlessly peered into the abyss of Guy-Manuel’s helmet. He didn’t know what to say, that was one thing, but he didn’t want to say anything either. His whole existence was at question, the one and only Guy-Man’s, the onlybot who made him feel human, made him want to live on, because for him, the golden robot was an irreplaceable miracle of life, he was in _love_. Who said robots have no feelings? These two do. They felt despair, sadness, desperation, need, negative emotions, yet on the other side, they felt happy together, felt loved in each other’s company and _loved_. If not both of them, Thomas did, he needed some time to accept it, to understand every little portion of the feeling, but oh, he’d feel so hopeless and dead if Guy-Manuel, his counterpart were to leave his side.. he spent so many restless nights, plugged into any kind of socket, thinking of the robotic metal body of gold grinding against his own silvers, the two of them connected by a cable, their visors displaying glitched pixels, vocalizers making low, technologic moans and they’re never letting go, they’re hungry for each other’s touch.. God, how much he wanted it to be true. Thomas found Guy attractive in any means possible, he wasn’t sure if his friend knew, wasn’t sure what _his_ feelings were either. All he knew was the truth of his own honest and true feelings for the other bot, and if he was gone, Thomas would be so lost, so dead inside..

He gave up on music, not because he didn’t enjoy it anymore, but because he almost gave his life up, yet that one person refused to let him go. With music and all enjoyments in his life gone, Guy was all he had, the only thing left for him, the only one. He barely spoke ever since the almost-suicide incident (that one year ago), but the next five words made Guy-Manuel get reminded of long forgotten memories, their memories _together_.

„Music sounds better with you.” said Thomas with a low and groggy voice. The golden robot remembered how inspired and overly excited Thomas was when he wrote the song, he asked him to be the first one hearing it. He found the beginning a bit boring, but as he got into it, the music completely absorbed him, and he got lost in the bliss; the vocals, the sound, everything was perfect to him. The silver robot knew exactly how to make him feel like this, he couldn’t help it, somehow he kept hoping that the song itself, was made for his being, he felt like it was calling out to him, trying to tell something only music can tell, and for Thomas, music was the only way ones can express themselves. He somehow hoped the silver bot shared the feelings he had, even if he, himself, wasn’t sure what those were. He was hopelessly in need of the other. He sighed, a deep sigh full of feelings and despair, the weird, warm feeling in his chest and motors filling him again, no matter how hard he tried to smother them. It was inevitable. He wanted to tell Thomas about all these feelings that confused him ever since they began, the constant overheating problems that happened every single time his body was close to the other’s, but he didn’t. He didn’t know how Thomas would react, he was too afraid of losing him like he almost did that one time. He was too much of a precious thing to risk it.

„Guillaume.” he shivered, the shivers sending sparks through his robotic body. He hasn’t realized how much he loved hearing his own name from Thomas, until now, that is. He debated whether he should or should not answer the other’s calling, in the end they both stood there in silence, Guy-Manuel tilting his head to the right side like a little robot filled with curiosity.

„Status?”

„Thomas, no!” Guy retorted, taking a step away from the silver bot. He sure knew his feelings or whatever they were went unnoticed by the other’s visors, but also knew his status would most likely give out any unwanted information. Thomas knew there was something about Guy, something he’s never said. If he did something to harm himself, Thomas would yell at him, so on, he could only hope it wasn’t such a thing. He wanted to protect him, but even with that strong silver metal body of his, he was weak inside, he feared that he couldn’t.

„There’s something you don’t want me to know.” in response, Guy grunted, clenching his hands into a fist as if expressing the feeling of anger, frustration, then considering he was a man of few words, he spoke up with a cracked voice. „I do.. but it might not be the right time.” Hearing this, Thomas stepped closer, questioning the words of his smaller counterpart.

„Please, don’t come closer..” he cried, turning his head away in order to escape the gaze of  the other, which never happened.

„I barely understand, why have you grown so distant?” Thomas said, his heart slowly breaking as he did so. The golden robot noticed, so decided to act and say „I don’t think you would understand.” the reply was fast and sudden, „Then please, make me understand!” he inched closer, grabbing the other by the two of his wrists, in order not to grant him escape right until he tells what he wants to know. It didn’t take a minute to notice the way Guy-Man shivered, the fear in his atmosphere clearly visible. He has never gone this far, he’s never yelled at Guy, let alone made him frightened; he backed up, murmuring his sorries as his feet hit a table leg, making him stop walking, instead, he caught his pace up just once again, turning back and closing his arms around the other bot as gently and tenderly as he could manage. He felt the whirring of his own fans quicken up, but little did that matter, lost in the moment. „Why?” he asked, sounding a bit concerned about his friend, his roommate, his musical counterpart, his _crush_.

„I..” he sighed „I will overheat.”

He didn’t tell the real reason of his heating problems, that would make it too damn obvious; he needed to keep it as a secret, for his own sake and Thomas’ sake.  Therefore the other automatically assumed he had some internal problems with his system, when it only was a small glitch, full of more than human feelings, and whenever he was near Thomas or even thought of him, the occurrences would get more and more frequent, but he didn’t need to know. „I hope it’s not a virus..”

„Thomas, please, it’s okay..”

„You’re tired.”

„I am.”

„We better put you on charge now, shall we? Before that, do you want sleep mode?”

„Better if I do.”

„I’ll see you then.”

He left, leaving the golden bot to his respectful self and some personal space, to ready himself for another lonely and peace less night. It has been half an hour. 31 minutes, 52 seconds, 11 milliseconds since Guy-Man prepared himself for sleep mode, just about time for his routine.. He slowly opened the door, scanning the room for any signs of disruption that would cause the other to snap out of the sleep, then stepped closer and closer.. each and every day, he would do the same thing once he fell into his slumber. He looked at his calm figure, running his silver fingers against his helmet; after a minute or so of the satisfying touch, he bent over, placing a robotic good night’s kiss on the other’s forehead, sending sparks through both of their bodies. A pair of closed green orbs appeared on his helmet, indicating he was already fast asleep.. how satisfying.  Little did Guy-Manuel know how this was more than just a recreation of desires in his sleep, a mere illusion, but reality made of robotic flesh and sparkling circuits.

**Fri**

Another day went by, another virtual dream full of images of Thomas, _his_ Thomas and him. As time passed, the golden bot has gotten more and more aware of his own feelings and needs, the more he was aware, the more he realized how he couldn’t live without his counterpart. He needed to act, but there was not enough time, no timing would’ve been perfect, at least not now. Maybe this was their last day, he wouldn’t know.

„Thomas.” he said in a sweet dreamy tone, the name rolling off his vocalizer like a piece of candy in a toddler’s mouth, finding the other bot looking through the window from behind the old mahogany curtains in Guy’s room. Sometimes they shared that one, but last night was one of those rare occasions where Thomas chose to actually ’sleep’ without the smaller robot by his side. When he heard the other calling his name, he immediately stopped whatever he was doing and walked towards his bed to unplug the charging cable. Before he could do so, Guy stopped his silver hands with his own golden ones. „I can do it myself.” he said with a small beep, sounding like a whiny teenage bot. Thomas let out a low robotic chuckle, flashing the word ’ **C U T E** ’ across his helmet. This was the first time for so long, since that one year and a day ago.. Guy-Man gasped, reaching out to hold Thomas close, chirping happily without even realizing the exact word the other displayed. „Thomas, you just..” the other looked at him a bit flustered „Uh, I-I what?”

„Your visor!”

He looked down „What, I t-thought my visor w-was-„

„I know right! It’s crazy I mean I thought it broke that one last time.”

„So w-wait now I can-„

„Do what you used to do. Display your stupid words, mon avocat imbécile.”

Thomas blushed furiously, his visor glitching out and displaying red pixels randomly around the screen „S-shut up, Guy!” the other chuckled- _’Oh, Thomas, how I missed teasing you.._ ’

„Thomas.”

„Hm?”

„I want to go for a walk.”

„Oh.. I-uh, if you need something, I’ll be.. and I’ll l-leave t-the door open s-„

„I mean, for a walk, with you.”

„Oh.. that makes sense..”

„The good old Thomaf.”

„Wait..” he ran after the golden bot „Hum, I just found t-this weird old newspaper. I wanted t-to show you earlier but.. a-anyway, there was this song.. I did some research and we should be able to find some of the records, at.. at least the ones that weren’t d-destroyed here in Electroma.”

Guy-Manuel displayed a question mark on his helmet, waiting for a proper explanation from the stuttering mess who was his crush.

„Uh, y-you remember, the ruins of old Electroma, neo-Paris something..”

„I’m in.”

„But there’s something you should know.”

„Something? Like what?”

„Like the suicidal rates.. I-uh mean, they thought it to have some kind of mystical power something, I don’t really know but there were s-several rumors and urban legends and I guess it kind of sucked me in, I mean the t-topic..”

„Thomas.”

„Guy-uh, please?”

„Show me the way you lanky bot and quit stammering.” he flashed a green smiley face on his visor

„You bet I will.”

 

_I opened the door. Sure as it is, I promised not to write any more entries, but this needed to be recorded in my internal memory card. The walk was long and intense, but my mind kept rambling about how this is not an actual diary entry so I’m allowed to do, am I not? As a robot, I’m bound to keep my promises.. This is Not a diary entry. Just to be sure I need to save this 3 more times, now it will be fine, right? I’m completely calm… I mean, not-so-bad weather, Thomas and I are just walking around Electroma like any other time, he kept blabbering about something like how excited he was, but not too long ago, I got lost in his enthusiasm and kept glancing sideways to catch a glimpse of him. I saved each and every picture I took during the walk, I’m quite artistic myself, so why not make memories to remember? So, as I began, even if he can’t be human, he’s more human than he ever thought he was. Even with these delicate robotic features of him, he was human deep inside and I was completely fascinated by it. Sometimes he would ask a question, but since I couldn’t really concentrate more on his words than his body, I just remained silent and nodded, yet sometimes I should’ve listened a bit in order to know what I consented to, considering the last question was quite unpleasant._

„What-uh, so you have someone on your mind, like somebot?”

„Somebot? What do you mean now?”

„You just said you liked someone.”

„Oh.. Oh, oui, I did.”

_Damn me and my automated answering system. Not bothering more, I started walking again._ „Thomas, is it that building?” _I asked, and then he stopped dead in his tracks. So it wasn’t actually a myth. Suddenly, he got excited all over again, and before I even got to flash a smiley on my visor, he already ran off, leaving me right where I was. I followed not so long after, thinking if I’d better just leave it be or not. This was the only great opportunity I had, to calm down and do stuff alongside Thomas, even if we spent almost each and every minute of our digital lives together. I respected him and he respected me, but I needed something more. Something more, I wanted him to be mine as long as I am mine. Or his. Rather I am his._

„Aren’t you coming?” _he asked, holding the old vinyl in his gloved silver hands. I watched in amazement; his enthusiasm never left his visor, after all that time, I finally felt he was truly alive, somehow. How long I’ve wanted to make him feel happy, now I figured it only needed a little push and long forgotten ’artifacts’. The last one was slightly harder, but we managed eventually, the small fractions didn’t really matter if it was fine. Long before I realized how I’ve been standing there blankly, staring at him in clear wonderment, he was already pushing me to the limits by holding me close to his leather covered silver-plate chest._

„Sweet touch..” _he whispered. I wanted to stay in his arms for much longer until I can take it, but I can’t. I pried myself away from his burning touch, I felt like I was going to overheat anytime, I pulled away, not wanting to give my feelings out or make them obvious. He looked at me with another look of question, bothering enough to ask about it after letting out a sigh._

„Are you uncomfortable with my proximity? G-Guy, we’ve been friends ever since we were made, I guess, survived so many awkward and memorable stuff together, s-so, what happened since t-then?” _I looked at my hands.._ „So many things, Thomas.”

_„I wish you’d quit being mysterious.”_

_Now if I had eyes, I’d surely have rolled them by now, but I let it be. I wanted to speak to him, I really wanted to reassure him about all he meant to me, but as I figured, I’m weak. So weak, not even able to protect my love from despair, not even myself. I really wanted to speak, unsure of what would actually come out of my vocalizer. I just remained silent; instead, he was the one who broke the silence I created._

„Actually, answering my own question from back then, I do as well like someone. I wish I just wasn’t this helpless to begin with. Sorry, désolé just once again, I simply forgot there was some other you liked and most likely wouldn’t want otherbot to touch you.”

_And how much I wished he knew that the one whom I wanted to lay his hands on me, to claim me as his very own prize or property was none other than him. Yet, considering how much of an emotional daft I was, I kept pushing him away; either I’m just selfish or a complete idiot. I wanted to tell him, but now that I know he has someone in his life, I’m unsure of how I should act._ „For how long?”

„Pardon?” _he asked back_

„For how long have you had them in your life?”

„T-that’s a very complex question..”

„Then give me a simple answer.”

„For too long without having the chance to act. And how long have you?”

„Too long.”

_I tried to sound happy as if I was, but failed miserably. Damn, how much I hate how my voice gave in, I didn’t want Thomas to have somebody, now I was being selfish; I should be happy, but having my love probably taken away from me is not the most pleasant feeling either. Probably I’ve never seen Thomas hanging out with anyone other than me; I guess he was just easy to talk to. Like, they met in a robot club then were like ’hey, I like you!’ then ’hey, I like you, too! Let’s hang out and not do anything for too long!’, probably that was it, God, I’m such a good actor, I deserve some applause. Then I was lost in my thoughts again._

„A-anyway, I think we better be heading back.. I still want to hear this song today, and I also need to promise myself to find a way with that bot, considering I’d just torture myself any other way.”

_Even if thinking he has somebot other than me is painful as hell, as a robot, I can’t even experience physical pain (that much, pleasure is still there, and I have pain receptors, those are different), so I have no reasons to complain, but then what is this I’m feeling? Surely has something to do with this glitch and my feelings for that lanky android. My attitude changes sometimes, especially when he’s anywhere near me, therefore I’m lost. We already started heading back, spent the first half an hour in complete silence, I glanced at him occasionally, yet not for long enough for him to notice. There was a hint of awkward silence that hung around us and I most likely wasn’t going to be the one breaking it. I sighed, indicating that something really should happen or the walk home will be the longest walk we’ve ever taken; Thomas looked at me in response, letting out a robotic sigh of his own. Alright, I thought, he’s going to start talking soon enough. I expected it to happen like always, but in the end, all that remained was silence. I examined him, his demeanor; considering he was playing with his hands, sometimes mumbling things only he can hear, I contemplated each and every possibility, scanning them to make sure I’m right, he was in deep thought._ ”Thomas?” _I whispered, searching for his reaction when all I saw was him turning his body towards mine, he didn’t answer so I decided to change the subject, I guess I failed miserably._ „What are you thinking about?”

„How do you know I’m thinking about something?” _He didn’t stutter that much. I guess a robot shouldn’t really be able to stutter, but he was as well an exception from all these ’not able’ stuff._

„You always are.” _I responded, sounding like a concerned mother with a spoiled child. How do I know that? Movies. Lots of movies from all genres,  Thomas preferred older, black and white horror shows and such, while I liked sci-fi, fantasy and enjoyed laughing at how bad some ’new’ (kind of old but not that much, from around the year of 2010, I’m not even sure anymore) movies were.. especially those hopeless romantic comedies. Those were my weakness. They’re made by the devil, trust me; it made me feel things  that can’t even be felt, made me realize stuff I should’ve never had, and God, it was so weird. That avocado caught me watching them quite a few times, he still teases me about it, even if the one clutching the pillow while groaning and yelling ’don’t leave her’ wasn’t me. How did I even end up talking about this? Dammit, Guy-Man, this isn’t a diary entry, so basically, it’s normal to have thoughts like this, is it?_

„Yes.”

„Yes what?”

„Yes I’m thinking.”

_Now’s my turn.._ „Who are you thinking about?”

„I-uh” _Great, the stutter is back, no matter how much I love every portion of his constant mumble, that doesn’t change the fact that I won’t understand a single thing._ „S-someone I’ve been uh, m-meaning to t-think about.”

„The one you love?”

„The one I l-love..”

_I sighed again, not really willing to talk about that any longer, I didn’t even know if it was a topic I could bear talking about. Thankfully, life was on my side, we arrived to our little cottage sooner than expected; therefore I plopped down on my bed, waiting for Thomas to do anything about the vinyl we brought home. He was excited, but I couldn’t have been more neutral about it. I didn’t tell him though, he’d just say I’m a party pooper or something. I waited for a minute, two, staring from the gently lit room through the window, watching the clouds passing by in the light summer sky._

_The first thing I heard was a firm yet soft melody, a somewhat melancholic piano play, then after a while, a soft toned voice. The song itself was written in Hungarian, there was not a translation on our hands, but not like we needed them anyway, considering mainly each and every language is consisted of that one same code, we only need to decode them to see the real meaning with exact words. The lyric was even more melancholic than I first expected, but that didn’t change the feelings welling inside me. With each word, I’ve grown to understand the beauty more and more, each word explaining the pain and emphasizing my empathy. If I’m right, the lyrics went like this;_ _On a sad Sunday with a hundred white flowers, I was waiting for you, my dear, with a church prayer, That dream-chasing Sunday morning, The chariot of my sadness returned without you.._

_I looked at Thomas, he was staring intensely at the vinyl and the old gramophone before him, seemingly lost in the melodies of the song, I continued humming._

__  
Ever since then, Sundays are always sad, tears are my drink, and sorrow is my bread... Sorrowful Sunday.  
Last Sunday, my dear, please come along, There will even be priest, coffin, catafalque, hearse-cloth. Even then flowers will be awaiting you, flowers and coffin. Under blossoming trees my journey shall be the last.  
My eyes will be open, so that I can see you one more time, do not be afraid of my eyes as I am blessing you even in my death... Last Sunday.

_After the song was over, I remained silent. Thomas didn’t say a thing either.. The melody was still playing in my head, and I couldn’t bother not to think even Thomas felt like this song was about us.._

_For the rest of the day, we barely spoke. I kind of missed him blabbering about things, but I couldn’t think of anything to break the silence, therefore I either just stood somewhere around the room, or tried to find something to do so the day wouldn’t be an unwanted waste of time. For heaven’s sake, I just wanted him to be mine, mine already.. seems like today will never end. I even contemplated going out to take a break from all the pressure, but Mother Nature was kind enough to make it rain cats and dogs, if my dictionary’s right. I had to stay inside, I couldn’t risk getting my processor and internal hardware system all wet, it would cause short circuit and even permanent issues._

_Realizing I couldn’t bear it any longer, I approached Thomas, hugging him as tight as I could without having any of us ’hurt’, and relaxed into the touch.. I heard  my fans’ whirring, I heard his too.. he didn’t pull away, only whispered my name in a way that devoured all the distressed thoughts from my random access memory, replacing them with the simple pleasure of contact._

_Then I woke up. Turns out I was so bored I accidentally switched myself to sleep mode. What a pleasant dream it was, the first dream since a very, very long time.. I scanned the room, looking for that lanky bastard, only to notice that he, as well has fallen ’asleep’ right next to me, like we used to sleep all the time, not anymore though. It was **Saturday.** I didn’t feel like leaving the bed today, the dream was pleasant, but the sight of Thomas made my fans whirr even louder, made my visor light up with the colors of rainbow even though the storm has gotten more intense than it was last night, so we were most likely unable to leave the house. 6:42 AM. Thomas usually wakes up at 7; I still have a few minutes until it happens. I lay back on the bed, turned my head to the side so I can keep looking at Thomas’ tall figure just like I’m staring off to space. Even with his robotic features, he’s beautiful.. Maybe I’m an idiot, maybe not, I can’t really help it anymore; with every moment, it gets more and more clear that I have hopelessly fallen in love with this bot. I reached out to touch his hand if only for one minute, but as soon our gloved metallic fingers made contact, his visor lit up, indicating that sleep mode has ended and he’s been fully charged. I jerked my hand away as soon as I could, hoping he didn’t notice, he did, so I had no reason to hide my actions at all. I looked at him, _ „Sorry, did I wake you up?”

_I tried to make my voice sound less dreamy, smooth and lustful, but in my current posture and state, I couldn’t possibly. Now I just sounded like a wife. If it was for Thomas, I wouldn’t have minded, I guess that’s for another time. He still needs to figure my feelings out, or I won’t be able to take it any longer and do something that might damage the musical partnership and friendship we have in each other permanently._

„No. I wanted to get up earlier.”

„Yeah, because 12 minutes totally count.”

„Better than nothing.” _he whispered, unplugging the charger from both the socket and himself, I did the same myself a few minutes before he woke up._

„Right. We can’t go out.”

_I felt Thomas’ body tense up next to mine, sighing so loud it even surprised himself._ „W-why not? I-I mean, not that-„

„Thomas, it’s raining.”

„Oh..”

_Another minute of silence, then I really wanted to speak up, no matter how awkward and nonsense it would be, I said the first thing that came to my mind._ „What now?”

„Nothing”

„There is something.”

„Don’t you feel like sleeping some more?”

„Even if I do, sleep mode is unnecessary, it makes no sense.”

„We don’t need sleep mode. L-like just lying here or something, would that be fine today?”

„We can’t do anything productive today either. It wouldn’t hurt..” _I agreed, sounding a bit uninterested, when in reality I was so excited I could overheat any moment now. First we just lay here in silence, then the lights went out. Now we couldn’t do anything even if we wanted to.. we most likely didn’t. Another few minutes passed by in the darkness, then I felt a hand sliding around my waist, pulling me close to the body of the source. Thomas hugged me. It was a gesture we used to do very frequently, yet this time it felt different.. I didn’t know if it did for him, but for me, yes, yet one question popped into my mind._

„Thomas, what are we?”

_He tensed up again, his grip loosening on me but never letting go_ „Uh.. r-robots?”

_This was something I expected him to say, yet it still got me by surprise; I let out a low chuckle, then decided to rest my head in the crook of his robotic neck. It couldn’t hurt, besides, I wasn’t the one starting it, and so it didn’t really matter if I leaned into it or not. I was content with this feeling._

_That’s it. I’m going to do it; not too fast, not too slow, I will tell everything tomorrow._

„H-hey” _I began, my voice was unstable and cracked at the end, but I guess he understood, considering I stuttered just like he does all the time._ „I need you to stay honest with me”

„Uh, why?”

„Not today, I-I mean yeah, today, but always, you know.. wh-what I’m trying to say is..”

„P-please spit it out, I’m getting n-nervous..”

_I fiddled with my hands for a bit before deciding to wrap them around his back. He was nervous even though I had no idea why, but the fact that I was nervous as well couldn’t be denied. Maybe tomorrow wouldn’t be right after all.. I either do it now, or never. Maybe I’m not just hopelessly in love._ „Thomas.”

_I sighed._

„Sweet, sweet Thomas..”

_I let out another sigh, this time drawing circles on his robotic muscles with trembling fingers._

„I wish you knew..”

„Uh, k-knew what?”

_The third sigh left my vocalizer the second he asked that. I knew this was my moment to do such a thing.. I started stuttering again, the good old vocalizer making glitched and muffled noises as I pressed my helmet against his own, which for us, robots, is such a gesture as human kiss is. I could’ve said it was an accident, but I rather had myself telling the truth.._

„Knew how much I loved you-” .. _fourth sigh.._ ”-for so long..”

_Then time stopped. I didn’t know what to expect, yet as soon as these words left my ’mouth’ (just to sound more human), the world around me stopped for a moment that felt like eternity. It was about time I told him my true, honest feelings, but right now I felt like I could shut down and not feel ashamed about it. I still needed to hear his answer, I’ve known him long enough to be sure he wouldn’t desert me even if he lacks the feeling of love towards me. As I’ve seen enough romance movies by now, I knew if I was human, this would’ve been the moment I started crying. There wasn’t any time for me to think, Thomas was silent, his body trembled against mine; it was of no help, he didn’t pull away.. I got more and more nervous.._ „I’m sorry f-for being so sudden.. I know you like s-someone..”

„Guy, y-you’re s-such an idiot..” _he tightened his embrace around me_ „Such an i-idiot..”

_I sighed. A giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulders after telling my feelings, even if I didn’t really understand his reaction, I waited for an explanation._

„W-who else would I l-love if n-not you?” _he sighed_ „Guy-Manuel, I love you s-so much, don’t you s-see?.. I do, I’ve d-done for so, s-so long..” _Thomas reached out to hold my other hand in his.. the feeling was unbearable. Not painful, more like the most beautiful melody I’ve ever heard. Unbelievably beautiful warm bliss filled me, and it was like a dream becoming true. He was my dream._

„Touch, sweet touch..” _I whispered_ „You’ve given me too much to feel..”

„I’ve n-never expected you t-to be the one s-saying it first..” _he chuckled_

„I’ve never expected myself either.”

_We remained silent, the only audible noise that morning- noon- was the rain tapping against the bedroom window, and our quiet whirring of fans as we lay together in each other’s arms. I couldn’t really care about the storm anymore, I was completely engulfed by the moment; robotic flesh against robotic flesh, what I was dreaming of for a long time. Our songs, all of them, were about us.. And I couldn’t help but stay true to this feeling, the feeling of love. I love him. Not only because he is the only one I bothered to know anything about, but because it’s himself who is different, in a good, goofy Thomaf way. God, I love him so much, that stuttering android and all his silly personality traits._

_It was raining for the rest of the day, but we didn’t care, thinking how it was too early for the day to be over, but it was. In the end, we stayed up all night, fingers interlaced as a human gesture of love -we weren’t human,  didn’t even feel human, but experienced love just like teenage dorks in stupid romance movies. In fact, we were watching one that very moment. Not a ridiculous movie though, a relatively old one, black and white, Casablanca. We’ve seen it so many times, even as a robot, I couldn’t even count. It was beautiful, but seemingly, Thomas was fascinated by it a lot more than I was. Sometimes he would hold me tighter, indicating how various feelings were welling inside him, but little did that matter when I felt his burning touch and he felt mine._

_Few more hours passed, and then **Sunday** , it was. As I guessed, there would be no sign of any rain by the time we began the day, all I saw was the silent light infiltrating from behind the clouds through the window, then started humming. Humming that one specific song from that specific afternoon, finally growing to understand the lyrics; not with sorrow and gloom as the song indicates, but with warm feelings, because what it was, was love. I heard Thomas humming alongside me, my voice a bit deeper than his, then felt his arms snake around me, then it was complete bliss. I kissed him once, kissed him twice; the robotic way, yet doing it with Him out of anyone it could’ve been, felt even better than seeing it in movies or whatever. I murmured a quiet ’Je t’aime’ under my robotic breath, resting my head on top of his chest as if it was the most perfect pillow ever. No matter what they say, Sundays will never be sorrowful again, not even a nuclear disaster can change my opinion about this.. not anymore, because it’s not ’him’ or ’I’ anymore, this time and from now on, WE exist. My dearest Thomas, have I told you how much I love you?_

**Author's Note:**

> This is NOT a diary entry.  
> -GM-0342


End file.
